I am counting my blessings today, and I’m re-counting them, just to remind myself how fortunate I am. My best friend is having a truly awful year and she rang today with more bad news.
It doesn’t seem fair that she should be facing any of it, let alone all of it, one thing after another. No-one can ever prepare for this sort thing, but I feel so powerless to help her and that does bother me. There were tears on both ends of the phone today and while that’s true to form for me, for her, someone who is so strong in a crisis, it was more unusual. I know that grief is a normal, healthy response to loss, but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.
I can never find the right words. They stumble out of my mouth, clumsy and inappropriate. I don’t want to say something insensitive and make things worse. I wish I could give her a big cuddle.
She said to me today that she is sick of being strong. How she deals with things is truly amazing. She is a beautiful person, inside and out, a wonderful mother, loyal friend, supportive wife. I feel for you, readers, that you don’t have her in your lives but being very selfish, I’m glad I don’t have to share her – I don’t see her often enough as it is!
I will try to be as normal as possible and I will always be here, day or night, to listen and not talk. I don’t know how she feels, but it wouldn’t be a comfort to hear, “I know what you’re going through,” even if I did. This isn’t about me.
What I do know is that my support, whatever she needs, is unconditional. No time limit, as long as it takes. I know I would get the same in return. I wish we lived closer.
So, to my dear friend – I love you and you continue to be a true inspiration to me.